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A Primer on Handshakes via The Week

The most powerful handshake in the world
A few techniques for dominating with your hands
Going in for the shake...
Going in for the shake…
(Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
We’ve all been victims of a terrible handshake. Maybe it’s a death-grip where you feel like you’re shaking hands with a lobster. Maybe it’s a limp, lifeless shake, like you’re suddenly wagging a fern. Either way, if you’re meeting someone for the first time, a bad shake can leave a lasting, negative impression — especially in the world of business.It’s almost become a truism, but that’s because it’s true: A great handshake can go a long way in earning respect from new colleagues or impressing a potential employer. People judge and are judged based on body language and physical social interactions.So how do you get the most out of your handshake? The Definitive Book of Body Language, by Barbara and Allan Pease, offers some tips.

Mainly, the Peases point out three handshake techniques that communicate dominance: the “upper-hand,” the “double-hander,” and the “left-side advantage.”

The “upper-hand” simply refers to the person on top whose palm is facing slightly down for the shake. According to Pease, using the upper-hand “communicates that you want to take control of the encounter.” Here you can see Vladimir Putin going for the “upper-hand” with Obama:

(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

The same is true in reverse — a palm-up handshake (or the “lower-hand”) communicates submissiveness, which “can be effective if you want to give the other person control or allow him to feel that he is in charge of the situation.”

The “left-side-advantage” is a technique solely for handshake photos. According to the Peases, the person on the left side of the photo who crosses his arm over his body for the shake appears more powerful than the person on the right, with the open body and bent elbow. Check out America’s vice president pull off that move with England’s prime minister.

(Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images)

The “double-hander,” unlike the “upper-hand” and “left-side advantage,” communicates dominance through intimacy. The technique can counteract power-players using either of the first two techniques.

The person giving the double-hander wraps both palms firmly around the receiver’s hand, affectionately increasing contact. It also “gives control over the receiver by restricting his right hand,” the Peases say. This move can recover some control from the right side of a photo, or be used to straighten out an “upper-hand.”

The farther the initiator moves his left hand up the receivers arm, the more intimate and powerful the shake. “The initiator is attempting to show an intimate connection with the receiver, while, at the same time, attempting to control their movement,” write the Peases. Check Germany’s president getting a double-hander from the pope:

(Giancarlo Giuliani-Vatican Pool via Getty Images)

But be careful: The Peases warn not to use this move on a stranger. “The double-hander is like a miniature hug, and is acceptable only in circumstances where a hug could also be acceptable,” they write.

So what is the world’s most powerful handshake? An upper-hand double-hander with a left-side advantage?

Actually, no. A blanket exertion of dominance is not the most powerful choice for every situation. In fact, if you’re a new intern at a company with a strong hierarchy and you greet the head honcho with this triple-whammy, she’ll probably think you’re overly confident, even rude.

So unless your goal is to intimidate, go for a vertical shake — one that shows respect and equality with the person you’re greeting. Make eye contact, repeat the person’s name, and base the strength of your grip on your partner’s. If he’s crunching your bones, step it up; if he’s limp and lifeless, be gentle.

Don’t create one handshake and use it on everyone, the way you would a signature. Shake hands like you’d kiss: With your attention on finding a balance with the receiver. Making a new acquaintance feel comfortable is key to a good first impression.

And if you do find yourself in a paw-lock with a handshake bully, use these tools to turn the dial back to the middle and demand respect.

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‘Somewhere Over My Rainbow Shoes’: Bright Dreams On A Snowy Day

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February 18

MORNING

“Shew me wherefore thou contendest with me.”
Job 10:2

Perhaps, O tried soul, the Lord is doing this to develop thy graces. There are some of thy graces which would never be discovered if it were not for thy trials. Dost thou not know that thy faith never looks so grand in summer weather as it does in winter? Love is too often like a glow-worm, showing but little light except it be in the midst of surrounding darkness. Hope itself is like a star–not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. Afflictions are often the black foils in which God doth set the jewels of his children’s graces, to make them shine the better. It was but a little while ago that on thy knees thou wast saying, “Lord, I fear I have no faith: let me know that I have faith.” Was not this really, though perhaps unconsciously, praying for trials?–for how canst thou know that thou hast faith until thy faith is exercised?

Depend upon it, God often sends us trials that our graces may be discovered, and that we may be certified of their existence. Besides, it is not merely discovery, real growth in grace is the result of sanctified trials. God often takes away our comforts and our privileges in order to make us better Christians. He trains his soldiers, not in tents of ease and luxury, but by turning them out and using them to forced marches and hard service. He makes them ford through streams, and swim through rivers, and climb mountains, and walk many a long mile with heavy knapsacks of sorrow on their backs. Well, Christian, may not this account for the troubles through which thou art passing? Is not the Lord bringing out your graces, and making them grow? Is not this the reason why he is contending with you?

“Trials make the promise sweet;

Trials give new life to prayer;

Trials bring me to his feet,

Lay me low, and keep me there.”

Evening

“Father, I have sinned.”
Luke 15:18

It is quite certain that those whom Christ has washed in his precious blood need not make a confession of sin, as culprits or criminals, before God the Judge, for Christ has forever taken away all their sins in a legal sense, so that they no longer stand where they can be condemned, but are once for all accepted in the Beloved; but having become children, and offending as children, ought they not every day to go before their heavenly Father and confess their sin, and acknowledge their iniquity in that character? Nature teaches that it is the duty of erring children to make a confession to their earthly father, and the grace of God in the heart teaches us that we, as Christians, owe the same duty to our heavenly Father. We daily offend, and ought not to rest without daily pardon. For, supposing that my trespasses against my Father are not at once taken to him to be washed away by the cleansing power of the Lord Jesus, what will be the consequence?

If I have not sought forgiveness and been washed from these offences against my Father, I shall feel at a distance from him; I shall doubt his love to me; I shall tremble at him; I shall be afraid to pray to him: I shall grow like the prodigal, who, although still a child, was yet far off from his father. But if, with a child’s sorrow at offending so gracious and loving a Parent, I go to him and tell him all, and rest not till I realize that I am forgiven, then I shall feel a holy love to my Father, and shall go through my Christian career, not only as saved, but as one enjoying present peace in God through Jesus Christ my Lord. There is a wide distinction between confessing sin as a culprit, and confessing sin as a child. The Father’s bosom is the place for penitent confessions. We have been cleansed once for all, but our feet still need to be washed from the defilement of our daily walk as children of God.

 

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The Similarities are Striking!

Matt Wuerker

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February 17

MORNING

“Isaac dwelt by the well Lahai-roi.”
Genesis 25:11

Hagar had once found deliverance there and Ishmael had drank from the water so graciously revealed by the God who liveth and seeth the sons of men; but this was a merely casual visit, such as worldlings pay to the Lord in times of need, when it serves their turn. They cry to him in trouble, but forsake him in prosperity. Isaac dwelt there, and made the well of the living and all-seeing God his constant source of supply. The usual tenor of a man’s life, the dwelling of his soul, is the true test of his state. Perhaps the providential visitation experienced by Hagar struck Isaac’s mind, and led him to revere the place; its mystical name endeared it to him; his frequent musings by its brim at eventide made him familiar with the well; his meeting Rebecca there had made his spirit feel at home near the spot; but best of all, the fact that he there enjoyed fellowship with the living God, had made him select that hallowed ground for his dwelling.

Let us learn to live in the presence of the living God; let us pray the Holy Spirit that this day, and every other day, we may feel, “Thou God seest me.” May the Lord Jehovah be as a well to us, delightful, comforting, unfailing, springing up unto eternal life. The bottle of the creature cracks and dries up, but the well of the Creator never fails; happy is he who dwells at the well, and so has abundant and constant supplies near at hand. The Lord has been a sure helper to others: his name is Shaddai, God All-sufficient; our hearts have often had most delightful intercourse with him; through him our soul has found her glorious Husband, the Lord Jesus; and in him this day we live, and move, and have our being; let us, then, dwell in closest fellowship with him. Glorious Lord, constrain us that we may never leave thee, but dwell by the well of the living God.

EVENING

“Whereas the Lord was there.”
Ezekiel 35:10

Edom’s princes saw the whole country left desolate, and counted upon its easy conquest; but there was one great difficulty in their way–quite unknown to them–“The Lord was there;” and in his presence lay the special security of the chosen land. Whatever may be the machinations and devices of the enemies of God’s people, there is still the same effectual barrier to thwart their design. The saints are God’s heritage, and he is in the midst of them, and will protect his own. What comfort this assurance yields us in our troubles and spiritual conflicts! We are constantly opposed, and yet perpetually preserved! How often Satan shoots his arrows against our faith, but our faith defies the power of hell’s fiery darts; they are not only turned aside, but they are quenched upon its shield, for “the Lord is there.” Our good works are the subjects of Satan’s attacks. A saint never yet had a virtue or a grace which was not the target for hellish bullets: whether it was hope bright and sparkling, or love warm and fervent, or patience all-enduring, or zeal flaming like coals of fire, the old enemy of everything that is good has tried to destroy it. The only reason why anything virtuous or lovely survives in us is this, “the Lord is there.”

If the Lord be with us through life, we need not fear for our dying confidence; for when we come to die, we shall find that “the Lord is there;” where the billows are most tempestuous, and the water is most chill, we shall feel the bottom, and know that it is good: our feet shall stand upon the Rock of Ages when time is passing away. Beloved, from the first of a Christian’s life to the last, the only reason why he does not perish is because “the Lord is there.” When the God of everlasting love shall change and leave his elect to perish, then may the Church of God be destroyed; but not till then, because it is written, Jehovah Shammah, “The Lord is there.”

 

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Birthday Tulips: As Bashful As the Birthday Girl

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Marking Milestones: Red Velvet Does It Nicely

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Beet Apple Ginger Lime: My Choices at the Juice Bar

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